.​.​.​But Maybe It's Better I Didn't

by Pretty Nostalgic

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She made a casual glance my way
across three empty seats on an eastbound train
and I swear I saw a smile -
a faint flicker of something untouched; new.
Would that she had known of these
purchased paintings on my floor
patiently awaiting their time
but I just can't be asked to fix them
or anything else in my life,
which seems to explain why
I resumed my gaze directly downward.

So, maybe - I'm not too sure.
If she might miss me at least a little more.

So I rode the rest of the way
then walked the rest alone.
To think I belong this way
some might say I deserve even less.
And I'm looking around at this hell,
my hell -
a goddamned mess and I'm at my best.

So, maybe - I'm not too sure.
If she would have missed me now at least a bit more.

And it has taken me an awful long time
to try and admit something crazy
like 'do I miss you?'
but I still can't .
I really can't tell.
It all floods back to 2012 with surprise introductions,
heavy uncertainty,
as though the rivers had exponentially rose six months early.
We had no idea,
and I still don't.
Well, I still don't, I still don't.

Yea, but, maybe - I'm not too sure.
Do you miss me? Now even more?

Well, this just can't be so -
Oh, it's a cruel joke.
Just seems like a cruel joke.


released November 13, 2014



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Pretty Nostalgic Calgary, Alberta

I'm a boy from the suburbs, it's my destiny.

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